Charm Daze is the is a master of the “stripper-proof” beat and a viral architect of high-end beauty. But beneath the Ardell wispies and the Marina and the Diamonds soundtrack lies a strategist who has turned the neon-lit trenches of the club into a masterclass of sovereignty. In this exclusive conversation, we peel back the “life armor” to discuss the brutal reality of the 6:00 AM comedown, the radical intimacy found with male clients, and the underground business logic that no bank would ever teach you.
How has being a stripper sharpened your intuition or your ability to read people in a way most people never develop?
I rapidfire meet tons of people in a shift and need to be able to read them well in order to maximize my bag and to keep myself safe. Sometimes I feel like I’m in the ring fighting with a bull when I’m working with clientele, other times I feel like I’m on a date in the middle of a great conversation. I’m very in tune with my survival instincts which I don’t think many people need to tap into on the day to day.
What is the most physically or mentally demanding part of the job that your followers would never guess?
Physically and mentally, the hours can be really tough. Its a battle between wanting to get enough sleep when you’re getting home at 6 in the morning and wanting to have a life in the daytime outside of nightlife. I can get depressed if I’m not pushing myself to get up and get outside before it gets dark out again after a night in the club!
Does “Charm Daze” have a “work armor” she puts on to deal with the environment, and how do you decompress and shed that layer when you get home?
Yes I do!!! But I also feel that the club has given me a life armor. I do not give men the time of day outside of the club. As for a work armor, I disassociate a bit so asshole customers don’t get to me. People can be really mean but I have to interact with them for my job so I try and stay in my mind palace throughout shifts. I decompress with a long, hot shower and some weed!
It can be addicting working in an industry with fast money (not easy money, but fast money) and you can choose to channel those funds into something for good or you can easily waste it all away.
How has the club changed your relationship with money and your sense of personal agency?
It can be addicting working in an industry with fast money (not easy money, but fast money) and you can choose to channel those funds into something for good or you can easily waste it all away. The phrase easy come, easy go haunts me! Working as an independent contractor also forces you to learn financial literacy because I’ve had to learn how to do my own taxes, buy a home without pay stubs, and invest my own money for my retirement. I struggled my first few years in the industry because I didn’t understand how important saving my money was right off the bat.
How do you establish your authority from the very first second you approach a table so the dynamic stays firmly in your hands?
Eye contact and reading energy! You always want to approach a table with the same energy they’re giving out. I try not to get emotional if a few dumb jokes are cracked, but I walk away if I’m sensing disrespect. Often I feel that groups of customers like to ‘’test’’ the dancers to see if they’ll fight with them if they try and be a smart ass in front of their friends, and often pushing through that and not getting emotional keeps the power in your hands. Use that as leverage to get into a dance.
My favorite clientele are submissive men.
What does a “fair” interaction look like to you in the club—where both you and the client leave feeling like you got exactly what you wanted?
This is a great question! I love to know that a client of mine has left the club feeling fulfilled.I love providing great conversation or a steamy dance or even entertaining some kinks like foot stuff or BDSM where my client is submissive. A fair interaction looks like a client showing up, we have a conversation that leads to a dance where I am paid for my time and my boundaries are respected. For the customer, the service they are purchasing is my time and they know that so for the most part, they leave feeling fulfilled. Sometimes clients have requests I cannot fulfill so unfortunately they leave feeling like the interaction wasn’t fair but I make my boundaries clear before we even step foot in the room, but some clients think they can convince me otherwise even after they’ve paid for a dance which is not fair to me.
For men who are vulnerable or submissive, how do you create a space that feels safe for them to let go of their “macho” exterior while respecting your boundaries?
My favorite clientele are submissive men. I like to emphasize that their discretion is important to me and that I’m just as interested in entertaining this fantasy as they are about participating in it. I make sure to ask about any boundaries, state my own and make sure I’m aware of any no-go topics.
As someone who navigates the world of exotic dance and high-end beauty, what is one “rule” of conventional beauty that you think is total bullshit?
That there’s one type of woman that ALL men are attracted to. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the club its that every man is attracted to something different, but some of them just like to pretend that they all like the same type of woman that their friends like which perpetuates this idea that beauty only looks one way.
Some clients crave control so badly because they have none in their lives, so you need to let them think they’re the one coming up with all the ideas, i.e private rooms and spending money.
How do you use ‘soft power’ to guide a man’s behavior without him even realizing he’s being led?
Some men like for you to be a little mean and bitchy to them but others get defensive and won’t spend any more money if they feel they’re being outsmarted. I can tell what kind of customer I’m dealing with after a few seconds of talking to them. Sometimes clients want you to be totally in control because they have to be in control in every other aspect of their lives, and some clients crave control so badly because they have none in their lives, so you need to let them think they’re the one coming up with all the ideas, i.e private rooms and spending money.
Always have at least a few months living expenses saved up in a high yield savings account. If you don’t know where to start with saving, start by just saving your 5s and 10s.
One beauty product that is “stripper-proof” and never moves?
Ardell wispies with Duo glue
The one song that immediately puts you in the “Charm Daze” headspace?
Santigold My Superman
A lot of people see the money in stripping as ‘fast,’ but you’ve clearly treated it as ‘smart.’ What financial freedom allowed you to do?”
Financial freedom has allowed me to own property and invest in my future!
There is an incredible amount of ‘underground’ business knowledge shared between dancers. What is the most important lesson about money, investing, or self-worth you learned from a fellow dancer rather than a bank or a textbook?
There’s so many!!! Every type of woman and every type of body is someone’s dream fantasy woman. Every single type. Always have at least a few months living expenses saved up in a high yield savings account. If you don’t know where to start with saving, start by just saving your 5s and 10s. And the most important one: always, always always get your money first.
True autonomy is often about owning your own time. At what point in your career did the income from stripping stop being about ‘survival’ and start being a tool for you to build the lifestyle and the creative empire you wanted?
After I made a few mistakes that forced me to grow up and learn how money works. I learned to stop trying to hide my money and use it as a stepping stone to better things, even if that meant catching up on a bunch of taxes. I can’t pinpoint an exact year, but I’d say in the last few years dancing became more of a creative tool for me rather than a tool for survival, though it is still my bread and butter!
For women, financial independence is a form of safety. How does having your own ‘war chest’ change the way you move through the world?
Financial independence and education go hand in hand, and I don’t necessarily mean your traditional four year degree. I got my bachelor’s degree and learned nothing about how to be financially independent in the process, so it really is all about teaching yourself and finding the resources you need to learn. Financial independence is a personal journey and once you feel confident navigating your finances and not feeling shameful about questions to improve your situation you let go of a lot of insecurity and replace it with renewed confidence.
Photo: Thom Kerr
Styling: Penina Shapiro
Make up: Sara Robey
Hair: Jes Jewel
Photo Assistant: Alison Harbour
Production Assistant: Nellie Stokeold
EIC: Claire Fitzsimmons
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