This story is part of our collaboration with the Slut Blog by Amber Rose. It was published originally as “Amber Rose’s Guide to Easing Into Anal Sex”.
It’s 2019. Anal is on the menu. You’ll never really know if you’re into it until you try it for yourself. Ass play can be intimidating, especially for a newbie. But there’s no reason to go into it unprepared. If you take your time, lean into some foreplay and relax your odds of enjoying it go up exponentially. Read on for MUVA’s tips for easing into anal sex.
Communication is Key
As with all sex acts, communication is crucial. The only way to figure out what works for your partner is to ask. The only way to get what you want is to tell them. Be tuned in to how bae is feeling and how their body is reacting, and you’ll know if you’re both enjoying the ride!
Clean Up Your Act
Despite what many people think, anal sex (and the booty in general) are not really that dirty. The anus and the lower part of the rectum actually have very little fecal matter in them, so most of the time all you need to freshen up is a warm shower. If you’re worried about cleanliness, take dump, and douche. Douching your butt isn’t harmful every once in a while and if it helps you relax, it’s totally worth it.
Stock Up On Water-Based Lube
Using lube is super important, because the anus (unlike the vagina) is not self-lubricating. Even if you’re not committed to penetration quite yet – and that’s totally ok! – having a water-based lube on hand will increase sensitivity and make foreplay even hotter. A good water-based lube that’s compatible with latex barriers and most toys is Lelo’s Personal Moisturizer (featured in our Inaugural SlutBox). It’s slippery enough to get things goin’ and it won’t gunk up on you or stain your sheets.
Eat Ass: Try A Dental Dam
Dental dams are a super helpful and effective safer sex barrier, but many people haven’t even heard of them, let alone use them. So what is a dental dam? If you’ve never used one before, a dental dam is a sheet of thin latex (flavored or unflavored) that protects against direct mouth-to-genital or mouth-to-booty contact during oral sex. Dental dams greatly reduce your risk for STI’s while still still allowing for stimulation.
Pick Out A Toy
A great way to ease into anal play is with toys! Try a vibrating toy with a broad head for some stimulation – you don’t even have to insert if it you don’t want to! This b-Vibe Rimming Petite mimics the feel of a rim job, and it’s slim enough for first time anal play. With insertable toys, start small. The whole point of anal play is to keep it simple and work your way up. This set of sleek silicone anal plugs by Amos comes in graduated sizes so you can work your way up!
It Shouldn’t Hurt
We’ve all heard anal sex horror stories, but done gently and correctly (and with plenty of foreplay and lube) anal sex shouldn’t hurt. Take deep breaths, relax, lean into the foreplay and relax. Let your partner warm you up by worshipping your booty with a sensual massage. Just because the booty hole is the main goal, doesn’t mean they should head straight there and set up camp. Massages and gentle touches all over your body, including your cheeks and upper thighs, will relax you and get you ready for more.
Contrary to popular belief, not all butt stuff must be done in the doggy position. Try lying on your back with your hips elevated, or sitting on bae’s face in reverse cowboy/girl. Move around, and get comfortable. While you’re at it, make sure bae is comfortable too.
Go Slow And Shallow
The person giving should err on the shallow side, and for goodness sakes avoid any heavy thrusting or rapid-fire jackhammer movements, whether with a penis, a strap-on, a toy or their fingers. All the nerve endings you’re trying to stimulate are in the anus (not way up in your small intestine) which is why the activity should be focused on the “rim” of the bootyhole and not way up in your guts.
Anal sex often feels best when there’s some additional stimulation goin’ on, whether it’s clitoral, nipple-centric, penis-heavy, or whatever. Use your free hand(s) to stimulate other parts of your or your partner’s body to really round out the experience. (Hoe Tip: If you’re a person with a vagina, don’t let bae stick a finger or toy that was just in your booty in your vagina.)