I’m Claire – the Founder of Salty – I’ve spent the better part of the last four years on a solo journey exploring my kinks. Instinctively I felt a pull towards Domination, and I wanted to see where it took me. My adventures started out non-physical: a handsome, submissive young man who would come to clean my house, and another to run my errands (in a button up shirt, as I requested), before I moved into physical kink – body worship and BDSM. I discovered that when I was with a man who adored and obeyed me, I stepped into my truth: a powerful woman with a vast untapped source of vulnerability and love to share. I felt a deep connection with each of these boys. Turns out I’ve been a Domme my whole life, I just needed to find the right partners to explore it with.
The deeper I go on my Femdom journey the more I am sure that my next serious relationship must be with a submissive man who prioritizes my satisfaction, my leadership, my authority, and my emotional safety – in other words, a Female Led Relationship. Until a year ago, I hadn’t heard of the term “Female Led Relationship”, but I guess, looking back – I had a few FLR ‘lite’ relationships in my life. Technically, a FLR is when a woman makes all the decisions in the relationship, from daily routines, finances, intimacy, or long-term planning: whatever the couple agrees upon. And yes, many FLRs include elements of dominance or kink, but at its core it’s about creating a dynamic of worship and service.
Female Led Relationship is when a woman makes all the decisions in the relationship, from daily routines, finances, intimacy, or long-term planning: whatever the couple agrees upon.
Sounds great doesn’t it? You might already identify as a Domme or you must be interested in exploring it. But the biggest question I get asked is, where do you find a man looking for an FLR? The answer, from me, is that every genuinely submissive man I’ve met, I found on the dating app Chyrpe. I love Chyrpe so much that I reached out to their team in the hopes we could work together on this month’s edition of Salty.
On Hinge and Bumble, you have to speak in code, and still no one gets what you’re talking about, or the messages you get are from sleazy, slobbering fools. General kink apps ‘for the curious’ attract men who are just that – curious, not serious – especially about being submissive. In my experience, these men rattle off a list of their explicit fantasies like a take-out menu, then go ghost when they realize that submitting to a Domme is more complicated than what they’ve seen in porn.
But Chyrpe is made by Dommes, specifically for people seeking Female Led Relationships. And because Chyrpe is built entirely around femdom and it’s not super well known, the male users have actively sought out that framework, that means they’re usually experienced, or at least, very serious about being trained. It weeds out the tourists and makes space for real connection.
The common issues us Dommes face on apps- the constant over sexualisation, time wasters, and safety concerns are well handled. In fact, it has more safety features than most mainstream apps- Hinge and Bumble could learn a thing or two, honestly.
My favourite feature is that men are not allowed to discuss intimacy or kink in any way, unless explicitly allowed by you. This is enforced by the ‘Powerboard’ interface – where you can specify how you want to be approached, what topics are off-limits, and what kind of behavior you expect in a conversation. If someone doesn’t follow the rules you’ve outlined, the messages simply don’t come through to you. It shifts the entire tone of the app and sets an expectation for good behaviour. The anxiety I feel going into any conversation on other apps (“What am I going to get from this guy?”) is alleviated.
Because Chyrpe is built entirely around femdom and it’s not super well known, the male users have actively sought out that framework, that means they’re usually experienced, or at least, very serious about being trained.
There are also community ratings, which let users leave feedback about each other. All profiles are photo verified. And if you’re looking for a little piggy – Findomming is allowed. You just have to select that option in your profile for transparency. On userbase: while I’ve seen a handful of trans and queer people on there, it’s primarily an app for submissive cis men and Dominant cis women.
While I haven’t yet found a long-term relationship through the app, I’ve had meaningful, heart opening interactions and I’m hopeful that he could be on there. It is, in the very least, the closest I’ve come to finding what I’m looking for.
There are things I’d improve. I wish the user base were bigger, especially in my city. And of course, I still have to vet people, read between the lines, follow my instincts, and block and delete. However, I trust that the people who have designed this app are coming from a place of expertise, empowerment, and safety for women – so much more than other apps can say. Tbh, it’s renewed my faith in online dating (and that says a lot). If you’re a Domme looking for a sub, or just a very bossy babe who wants to find a partner that respects your authority, I would say, check it out.
About the Author:
Claire Fitzsimmons is the Founder and Editor of Salty. When she’s not bossing around hunks, she’s editing stories, gardening and spending time with rescue dogs. You can find her here.