Photos by Patience Ojoinuka
Whoever said that bimbos aren’t smart never met Nikita Redkar. She’s a history nerd in a halter top, a smartie in a sundress, she’ll educate you on timely sociological facts, and you’ll be entertained. She might be a Professor at Bimbo University, but she never assumes her audience is stupid, and in an age of 1-minute attention spans, a crumbling democracy, and late-stage capitalism, Nikita gives her followers the historical context crucial for understanding and navigating the world around them.
Nikita can share why Alcatraz is important to Native Americans, or the impact of Monica Lewinsky on the creation of the internet, or the origins of Black Friday sales, while strutting (hard) through the streets of New York City in a pair of six-inch heels AND self-filming at the same time. If that’s not for the girls, I don’t know what is.
Here’s why she’s Salty: bold, unapologetic, unserious in tone but deadly serious in what she’s actually saying.
She’s just like us! (read: smart and hot) so we asked how she was navigating the dating world as such. In a landscape shaped by ideological fractures, rising misogyny, weaponized self-improvement, and the reality that half of men view feminism as a threat, being a smart girl has never felt more complicated. Dating today means assessing someone’s politics, emotional literacy, and accountability before chemistry even enters the picture. How does she do it?
Read ahead to hear about the politics, the queerness, and why flirting in real life is way better than online.
Let’s start with the lore: you were banned from Hinge. What happened?
I wrote in a prompt that “you should not go out with me if you’re a conservative nazi or zio.” Within 30 minutes, my account was reported. And keep in mind this is the same account where I had a skimpy bikini pic as my first photo for over a year, and no one reported that. They hate it when a girl has beliefs!
There’s a widening political rift between women and men right now. Some men fake progressivism to get laid. How can you test a guy’s political affiliation without him getting wise to it? Are there questions you should ask early on? Follow-up: What’s a political green flag most women overlook?
You have to keep it really vague, because I’ve found when I ask direct questions like “did you vote for Trump?” or “are you conservative?” they know how to answer that. I like to ask, what is a cause you believe in, or how do you feel about what’s going on in the world right now? I’ve been on dates with men who say something vague like “I’m on the side of human rights,” which to me is an immediate red flag because it’s not specific enough. There are too many specific horrors happening right now to not name them directly!
We’re collectively exhausted by dating apps. Do you actually approach people IRL? Can you give us your top 5 tips?
I LOVE approaching IRL. I used to be scared of approaching women, but then my very straight sister told me that if a woman asked her if she was gay, that would make her day. So now I will go to a woman and start with a simple line: You look gorgeous in that outfit. I like to keep it a little more flirty than “you’re so pretty” because anyone can say that. Usually, my second question is “Are you queer?” because lord knows you can have a conversation with women for hours before realizing they are straight as a pole!
Approaching men is easy. Most of them haven’t been hit on since like 2018, so they love it. Two things to watch out for, though. One) Usually, when you chase a man, you end up with a man who likes to be chased. What do I mean by that? You’ll be the one planning, initiating, basically making all the decisions. So make sure you don’t get that vibe from him. Two) I despise nonchalance in a man – either he’s making full eye contact and engaged in the conversation, or I’m out!
”IF THEY ARE NOT HEAD OVER HEELS OBSESSED WITH YOU, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME.
You’re bi. Do the IRL tips translate to women? Tell us how you meet and signal interest to women.
So aside from what I answered above, I think the best way to meet women is to go to specific queer events that are geared towards meeting people in a flirty way. Speed dating nights and dance nights are going to feel less stressful than, say, an arts and crafts night.
I think every queer woman fears hitting on another one because we either think we’re going to come off as creepy men or we’re scared of rejection. First of all, you’re not going to come off as a creepy man because YOU ARE NOT ONE. And we have to reframe rejection from being a personal moral failure to a sign from the universe that you are not meant to be with someone.
You project confidence. When was the last time you got rejected, and how did you handle it?
I mean, I get rejected constantly because my type is femmes, and more often than not, I will accidentally flirt with a straight woman. If they’re straight, they usually tell me, and I move on. That’s an easy rejection. The worst are when you thought you really clicked with someone and they say no to you, or worse, ghost you. I’ll let myself be sad for a day or two, and I’ll call my best friend. Then I’ll be sad for them because they missed out on a really cool girl.
If you were writing the Smart Girl Rejection Protocol, what would it sound like?
IF THEY ARE NOT HEAD OVER HEELS OBSESSED WITH YOU, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME.
”You've got to make sure that who you date is not just a fan, but has taste and opinions of their own. The second you're with someone, and they say, "whatever you want," ehhh, it's time to go.
We’re talking about dating, so we have to talk about sexual health. Are you on birth control? Have you ever had an abortion? How did you access care?
I’ve been on two Mirena IUDs since 2016. In 2016, I worked at Planned Parenthood in Texas in the non-abortion wing (so dealing with everything else like STI tests, birth control, infections, HPV progressions, etc), and I made the decision then to get one. I’m so thankful for it; it’s been almost ten years now of no periods, worry-free sex, and best of all, crisp white bedsheets. I also know birth control does not work well for everyone, so I thank the stars and the universe for somehow making my experience smooth.
That job at Planned Parenthood was one of the best I had because I got to be surrounded by women who were so passionate about accessible, upfront healthcare. They also spoke so frankly about sex without any judgment, and it was incredible to see patients come in, obviously beating themselves up with shame, and walk out the doors feeling so relieved and protected. We had people of all genders come in, too. That center does not exist anymore because of Republican cuts and how they feel Planned Parenthood was the devil, but they’ll never know just how many people we helped – some, without a doubt, from their own party.
What’s the dating mistake you see smart girls making over and over again? Follow up: If you could ban any behavior from the collective female hive mind, what would it be?
I tend to attract a lot of mommy-issues men because I’m extremely driven, independent, and assertive. Since I make all the decisions in my real life, that habit tends to bleed into my dating life as well. Pretty soon, you’re not dating a person but an obedient puppy dog. You’ve got to make sure that who you date is not just a fan, but has taste and opinions of their own. The second you’re with someone, and they say, “whatever you want,” ehhh, it’s time to go.
You do a lot of cultural-historical critiques in your videos. Is there a historical parallel for what women are living through romantically right now?
The first thing I think of is the mid-1970s when second-wave feminism was taking off. Roe v. Wade had been passed, Title IX too; women were now allowed to obtain a credit card without their husbands. Of course, we’re not getting such rights passed this time around, but what we’re experiencing is a collective awakening via social media.
If you look at charts from the 1970s, you really start to see marriage falling off around this point. Coincidentally, the “male identity crisis” sprang up as a reaction. Books about “reclaiming your masculinity” (in a not good way) dominated the charts. Also at the same time, Phyllis Shafly and – what we’d call today – tradwife advocates begin building their own movement of conservatism.
Yet guess what, nobody knows of Phyllis, and nobody knows about those masculinity books. What we DO remember of the 70s is second-wave feminism and the advancements made in women’s rights. So what history should remind you is that today’s loudest, angriest voices will be tomorrow’s forgotten ones.
Many women have opted out of dating entirely. If dating right now feels bleak for many women, what are the bright spots?
The bright spot is how we are focusing on our friendships and building deep connections with women. We’re also focusing on our health and wellness, and helping out the community. I love being single so much because my time is my own. I can’t tell you how many friendships I’ve brought back from the dead because now I have time for a quick phone call. I’ve been able to get into cooking more as well, and I’m about to sign up for singing lessons.
Does being single suck at like 8 pm on a Sunday? SURE. But that’s like the only bad part. Once you get through that, it’s smooth sailing. And the good news is the dating world will always be ready to scoop you back in should you feel ready for it.
About the Author:
Olivia Salamone is a writer and editor in New York covering lifestyle, sex, and relationships. She covers everything from messy modern dating to the realities of female pleasure.
Her bylines span Salty, The Girly Pop Register, The Daily Mail, and The U.S. Sun.